Since childhood, many girls have heard the same sentence repeated like a universal truth:
“One day, you’ll have to go to your husband’s house.”
It’s said so casually, almost sweetly like a rite of passage. But hidden in those words is an expectation
that shapes a woman’s entire life. It tells her that no matter how much love, comfort, and identity
she builds in her parents’ home, it’s not really “hers.” And after marriage? That, too, is someone
else’s house.
So I ask: Where do we really belong?
Is It Written Somewhere That We Can’t Go Back?
In many parts of society, a married daughter staying at her parents’ home is seen as a sign of failure
or shame. People start whispering. They assume there’s some problem in her marriage. But let’s get
one thing straight:
There’s no rulebook legal, moral, or spiritual that says a woman cannot go back to her parents’ home after marriage.
Whether for a few days, months, or even years, a woman should feel welcome in her childhood
home without guilt or judgment. Yet, the moment she crosses that threshold after marriage, her presence is questioned by neighbours, relatives, even extended family.
Why?
So Whose House Is Truly Ours?
If our parents’ home is theirs, and our in-laws’ home is also theirs, then where is our home? Do we just float between spaces, never having a place to call our own?
The truth is:
A home is not just about whose name is on the door. It’s about where you feel safe, loved, and seen.
You don’t stop belonging to your parents just because you got married. And you don’t have to “earn” your space in your marital home by surrendering your identity.
The Joint Family vs. Nuclear Family Trap
Here’s another dilemma women face post-marriage:
If you live in a joint family, you’re labelled a “family-oriented” woman, one who “binds” everyone together.
But if you and your husband choose to live separately? Suddenly, you’re a “home breaker,” the reason he’s “drifted away” from his parents.
No one stops to consider that maybe the couple just wants their own space. That maybe it’s not about breaking, but building something of their own.
So, Where Do We Really Belong?
We belong wherever we feel respected, supported, and free to be ourselves, whether that’s at our parents’ place, our own home with our spouse, or somewhere entirely new.
Belonging is not about geography. It’s about dignity.
And no tradition, social pressure, or outdated belief should take that away.
Let’s stop asking where we belong and start affirming that we belong everywhere we are respected, valued, and loved.
It’s time to shift the narrative from one of silent endurance to one of conscious choice.
Because in the end, the only home you ever need to justify is the one where you feel complete.
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